Thursday, September 13, 2012

I'm Thankful for the Past

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
-Jeremiah 29:11

I am thankful for the past, and that it is in the past.

Looking ahead to my future I often wonder who I will become, in the context of what I'll be doing. As though my career will define who I am. But this isn't true. It is a part of you, and unless you make your career your every waking thought and action, then it is only a part of you as a whole.

The quote that titles this blog "Life is how you spend your days, how you live your life is how you spend your days", came about because I didn't really know what life entailed. Many people throw around the word life and it makes them sounds all philosophical but when asked what life is, they create some jumbled up answer that really has no point. 

When you really think about it, what is life? Is it the air we breath? Is it our birth? Our marriage? Our job? Have you heard the phrase, 'life is life' or 'that's just how life goes?'

Why is that? 

When looking back on their lives people will remember big moments that happened, marriage, children, or becoming the President, abolishing slavery, equal rights for women. They will define this as their life's crusade. And that's great; at the end of your life.

There are so many years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds that make life, life. I can't say in one sentence the life I've had so far. I'm still quite young and the majority of my life has been the product of other peoples decisions.

But I still live in each day, so what do I do with my life?

I struggled with this a lot as a teenager, and it's one of the reasons my faith became so strong.

What was I here for? What if I wasn't smart enough to be the doctor I dreamt about, or the actress who could tell a story with her eyes. What if I wasn't famous? If I'm not known by everybody then whats the point?

That's when I came to the realisation that this life isn't everything, thats there's more to it then just aspirations. Aspirations, desires and goals keep us going, focused, content, moving forward, progressing through the many hours and days that make our lives. But what does it all mean.

This post started because I was sifting through and organising pages from my year as an intern back in 2009 at Warrambui. 

I have regrets from that year, but I don't regret that year.

There's things I wish I had of done better in my life, in the days that made up that year. I should have been more proactive in my faith. You'd think a year of service and getting to know God I would have opened my bible a little more. You'd thunk huh.

2009 was a year to grow in my everyday being, create habits of forgiveness, when I did not want to forgive, cooperate, when I did not want to cooperate, work with others whom I did not want to work with. A discipline I will surely continue to develop but none as quickly as this year. I would have a huge disagreement with a housemate one night, then have to work in the kitchen with them the WHOLE of the next day.... You learnt how to make it about God, and not yourself.

As much as I resented some of my time at bui, looking back it's made me who I am, it's grown me in ways nothing else could, and equipped me to handle the little things in my days. 

Having said that, I am so glad it's in the past. It's always difficult going through something, but looking back, when the dust has settled, the chips have fallen, you see it wasn't so bad, you evaluate yourself in the context of the situation and you move on. 

You can't fix the past, you can learn from it, and next time you have a day where you just wanna hit someone with your car, remember this day, is your life. 


2009 Intern buddies with our co-odinator.

2 Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4 You know the way to the place where I am going.”5 Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” 
-John 14:2-7
Click this link to read the rest of Jesus promise  John 14

Linking up with Katesaysstuff for Thankful Thursday.

3 comments:

  1. That is a lovely post Kate, you've said it so well. There is no point in having regrets or wishing things were different because everything that has ever happened to you has made you who you are today and who you are is awesome!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Kylie, I'm happy with how it turned out, I think I wrote my point clearly. I always struggle with that, especially whether it's to long or not!

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