When I Grow Up

"When I grow up I want to be happy"

I haven't exactly 'grown up'. You honestly are only as old as you feel.

When I was a teenager I wanted to be a doctor, and now I'm studying to be a nurse!

Same difference haha. I just like learning about the human body! 

The only thing I don't like is the assignments for the other subjects, like this psychosocial nursing assignment I need to do, like now, but am writing this instead, and crocheting.

I also didn't think I'd be married but I am, or that I would want kids, which I really do!

So when I grow up, I'd like to be a registered nurse and working full-time, I'd like to have some children, and I'd like to be more organised then I am now! With a clean house!!!

What do you want to be?

Starting Fresh

I have to admit, I've got writers block.

It's really frustrating me, because I love the creativity of blogs.

The design, the content, the community.

So I've been looking around for ways to try and reinvigorate my blog and in a sense me.

It has been a hard, tough, and pretty long year.

Starting so many new things, losing family members, welcoming new family members.

A new town, new marriage, new work and new study.

I came across Fat Mum Slim's article on 50 things to blog about so I'm going to steal one and write about it.

No. 14 -- The day you started blogging, what were you thinking?

I started a blog back in 2010 with a friend of mine. It was great, we were going to post about fashion, food, knitting, books, movies and music. We would each post in a different colour and end our posts with a -K or an -R.

It lasted about a month or two.

My sister Kylez over at A Study in Contradictions had been blogging for a few years and I really enjoyed reading her posts and looking at her photos. And found that I wanted to join in on the fun.

I'm not really sure what my intentions for starting a blog really were. 

I used to write little poems or short stories when I was younger, writing seems to be a family thing that goes back to my grandmother.

She wrote stories upon stories about the encounters she had with random strangers on the street in bankstown or about one of her 4 children or 15 grandchildren.

I was quite young when she past away so she only wrote one story about me. It was something to do with me wanting to eat lots of chips and chocolate. 

Not much has changed!!!

I find it hilarious that even at a 3 year old I had an infinity for consuming copious amounts of chocolate and hot chips. But hey, if this is my legacy I s'pose I should just accept it, if I tried to change it, I wouldn't really be my most natural self.

I think I tried to get to much into the 'popularity' of blogging, getting excited that I had people following. 

I started trying to get into the 'popular' group but in year 6, and by the time I was in year 7 realised that I did not want to pretend to be a different person every time I went to school. These girls just weren't like me and I shouldn't be trying to change myself. Just causes more embarrassing moments for myself.

Also, I have no children, so really my days are pretty boring without a little cuteness to talk about during my days. 

So from now on, I will endeavour to write for myself, write about things I love the most, watching movies, reading books, knitting and crocheting, and learning to be a nurse. (Hopefully I can start reading and watching more movies and books because I've been sorely lacking in those areas for the last 6 months!)

Hope your tuesday is going well.

Today is hubby's 23rd birthday, our first birthday celebrations together, I keep singing 'nobody likes you when you 23' (blink-182, in case you were unsure). I shall be making a lasagne from scratch (except the lasagne sheets, I buy those), but the white sauce and meat I got! And trying to find the recipe for butterscotch pudding which S loves so much.

Hope all turns out well, not a great cook. How did you spend you 23rd birthday?

Linking up with Jess for IBOT

Thought I Should...

Thought I should write a post, considering I'm meant to be studying, seems like a great procrastination tool if you ask me.

Today is my slightly less full on day, I only have one 2 hour class, my nursing lab class, where we pretend we are in a hospital doing nurse like stuff.

Last session in these classes was really good at the start, we learnt how to take a manual blood pressure, with a sphygmomanometer, who came up with that word! Anyway we also learnt how to take BGL and do observations, and for the rest of session we basically just redid them every lesson.

But this semester is a step up, we are learning how to do an ISBAR handover. Which stands for, Identify, Situation, Background, Assessment, and Recommendations.

Every thing in nursing, whether it be writing nurses notes or how to hand over a patient to the next shift or calling a doctor to alert them to a situation with a patient can be daunting, so they create simply acronyms to help us do it.

Basic way to make sure we provide all information and is relevant to a handover or writing notes.

That was first lab class. Today we are learning how to wash people, so swimmers are needed, I'll let you know how that turns out. Also we are learning to feed and brush peoples teeth. So it should be an interesting class.

This is really important, considering in three weeks time we are going on placement for two weeks in a nursing home where we will be doing a lot of showering and helping people eat and observations. 

And suddenly I feel like I've forgotten everything I've learnt!

Well should get back to study.

I'll try and write something more interesting next time, but I'm pretty boring so probably not. :)

I'm Back!!!

So I've been absent for a few weeks, my apologies. It's been quite busy down in this small town.

Clinical placement, university, study and just general life has been happening this last few weeks.

Clinical placement was, well, interesting is a good word to describe how that first week out in the life of a nurse.

First day was nerve-wrecking, made the hour long trip out to Narrandera at 645 in the morning. All teary eyed because I didn't want to go!!! 

But I left and made my way, to my surprise it was not as bad as I had made it out to be, like always. What is it with me blowing things out of proportion inside my head, is it just me?

I arrived about 20 minutes early and made my way inside to be orientated around the doctors surgery and meet everybody. The first few hours was just watching and listening. Then the fun happened.

Well depending on your perspective.

On the first day I watched the doctor remove a tumour from an elderly man's leg. The needle going in was fine, watching the doctors stick it in and move it around administering the anaesthetic, then the scalpel came out, watching him cut, I'm all good, calm fascinated. Then it came to removing the tumour and cutting underneath the tumour to remove it from the leg, still going fine. Removal of the tumour revealed the dermis layer of the skin, awesome, fascinated, white and weird all at once. Then came closing up time.

This is where it all went down hill. I did not faint, luckily, I pretty much know when I'm going to be faint so I removed myself from the room and got some fresh air. Tried going in for a second time but the heat and the nerves were getting the best of me and I just had to sit out for the rest of the procedure.

I think it was just the doctor trying to pull the two pieces of skin together and figuring out how to close it up and it just started bleeding massively when he was pulling and tugging on the skin.

So that was my first day.

On Tuesday was a completely different story! I watched the doctors remove another, wider tumour, even more pulling and tugging and I was completely fine! I watched a sebaceous cyst removed from the head, which was messy, also was a few moles removed and a wart burnt of throughout the week. And I was completely fine. So I'm just putting Monday faintness to the nerves and heat inside that room!

The rest of the week was good, took BP's and BGL's and took histories and watched the nurse do a GP management plan, which tied in more with the primary health care subject in which I was on placement for. 

I visited the podiatrist in the first day, and the physiotherapist, chemist and pathologist and the primary health care nurse.

It was a great week and saw so much, and enjoyed just experiencing the everyday working of a nurse in a doctors surgery setting.

Second semester will be full on, it already it, into the second week now, and in three weeks have another 4 weeks of placement which is exciting and daunting at the same time, but having gotten the first time out of my system, I'm sure I can handle it.

Also finishing off some crocheting projects has been a high so declutter my spare room.

If you haven't noticed from previous posts, I have been waiting patiently for the new arrival of a royal baby, now just have to wait for another baby to be born and I'll be super excited! Now pressure Kylie!

Linking up with Essentially Jess for 

26 of the 6

This post is being written in the last 15 minutes of the 26 of June.

This day has particular significance as it is exactly 3 months till my 23rd birthday.

Now I'm not afraid of numbers or growing old.

Fear is not the word I would use to describe my emotions about turning another year older, or that I will be a full licensed driver in just under those 3 months, or that I'll be finished my 1st year of nursing in a few months, or that fact that I'm married and living 5 hours away from my first home.

The emotions I'm feeling about this day have more to do with astonishment, amazement, and bewilderment.

Words that barely describe how I'm feeling about turning another year older, and this is because all of my expectations of being a 23 year old, well, they just aren't true.

I didn't have the most fun as a teenager, my weekend consisted of reading books on a saturday night and watching movies, ignoring homework.

I barely had a social life, and this was a result of my shyness, insecurities and low self-esteem, bunched with all those other emotions you go through as a teenager, like self pity, oh good ol' self pity, kept me company during those early years to teenagehood.

What got me through those years was, besides having an amazing family, was the knowledge that I would be different when I'm older and I'd be more confident.

When I was 15, I used to believe and picture myself as a 23 year old, living life, independent, confident woman, in charge of her career, ready to take on the world. Little resemblance to the girl I was at 15, this was my hope.

As the years have gone by and I slowly be digging my nails into my 20s I've realised that I am still that shy, worried teenager I was, just in a different way. I still have anxiety over everything, I can't make a speech with feeling like I'll faint. I can't do something knew unless I've asked someone about every aspect of the situation as to not be uninformed and stand around and look like an idiot, I did this a lot in high school, fear of speaking up I'd just be quiet.

My defence mechanism was to avoid, or get out of any occasion that caused me grief and do it as quickly as possible. This anxiety made me physically ill, not that I let on, but it was very obvious on my wedding day when I wasn't behaving like myself.

Turning the olden age of 23, (I know I'm still so young!) I've come to realise that I'm still the same person, you don't magically become someone else when you turn a different number, you just have more years under your belt, more perspective.

I'm a bit over myself with regards to my anxiety over new situations, both social, uni, or work wise. But I'm pushing through it, doesn't help the anticipation though.

This post purely came out of the fact that I'm beginning to feel very anxious about clinical placement next monday for a week an hour away from wagga. Worried I'll do or say the wrong thing, won't understand something, the list goes on, honestly, I wrote one!

I'd like to know what you were doing when you were 23? Were you married with kids? Were you starting a successful career? Were you doing something else? I'd love to hear!!!

Hope your week has been great and I'll speak with you soon!

I have no undies

I have no undies...

I have no socks...

There are dishes in the sink...

And I'm on the couch knitting and looking up youtube videos of the royals families of europe... WHAT!

I know I know, I'm terribly childish, I just love history, in particular, royal history. 

I am NOT one of those people who have a whole wall in my house dedicated to royal memorabilia, but if that's your thing then don't let me hold you back.

File Source

Can't wait for their baby! What will it be?! I understand this may be misconstrued as obsessive *cough* ... But it's not like that, I promise. I'm just at the stage in my life that I really love babies, and want one BUT I know I'm not prepared for one, I'm still too selfish, after uni maybe!

Doesn't stop me for being excited for everyone else having a baby. Particularly big sis Kylez!!! So excited!

Now getting back to my undies. I did have a load sitting in the machine since Saturday, when I was being proactive about this washing fiasco.

How do we make so much washing! We need to stop wearing so many clothes and in particular undies and socks. Or I should just start buying new ones... What do you think?

So the load is rewashing, I'm listening to the tree blokes take out all the tree stumps from the back yard and counting down the minutes till I need to leave to get my car checked for a pink slip.

I feel so grown up, and even though as a teenager I felt like I wanted to be older so my age would reflect my personality, and that I was seen was a responsible person.

I take it back. Please take it back!! I don't want no responsibility no more!

Alright, whinge is over.

Off to clinical placement next week, where I wont be telling you anything I do because I'm under strict confidentiality agreements. No seriously, I can't.

But I can tell you all the things I got to practice, such as taking blood pressures and temperatures and BGL's.

Pray for me that I have a good time!!!

Hope you enjoy your tuesday and have a great rest of the week.

Linking up with Jess for IBOT

My, my, How Time Flies

Wow, I haven't posted in a few weeks.

I apologise!!! I have been super busy with uni and work!

Uni just finished and I think I went really well!!! I know that for one class I received a High Distinction overall in one class (thats before scaling so it may not be the grade on my transcript).

I feel confident about my classes but I wont know final marks for about 3 weeks or so. Once they have marked the exams and scaled and so on. Fingers crossed!!!

One of the requirements for CSU B nursing is that we have to do LOTS of placements. I mean a LOT. The requirements of a registered nurse to meet the board certification or something like that, is 800 hours of clinical placement, CSU does 1200 hours of clinical placement. 

Each semester basically we will be on placement for at least four weeks, then 8 weeks at a time, which is a long time to be away from home! Unfortunately be Measles, Mumps and Rubella immunity wasn't high enough that I was allowed to go on prac when I was meant to. I had to post pone it so that I could finish my dose of Chicken pox vaccine and also finish my MMR vaccine.

I am the most vaccinated adult around!

Anyway, 1st of July I go on Clinical Placement. I'm trying not to think to much about it otherwise I'll get to nervous and have breakdown and become catatonic...

Finishing uni was a relief, I bought myself the movie Pitch Perfect to watch as a treat after I'd finished exams, for studying so hard and so on. It was pretty good, a few laughs. Have you seen it? Did you like it?

Off to Sydney tomorrow to visit with family for a few days, squeezing in a visit in the middle of work and my break, and S is also away for this week so it's nice to not be home alone for all those days.

I've also made huge progress in my knitting squares.

What I've been doing is knitting these squares, crocheting black edging on them, then crocheting them together into a huge blanket. I had a problem with the edges puckering with the crocheting but I finally figured out how to stop it, whooo me!

Alright I'm sure I've bored everyone enough, I know I can't believe how boring I am sometimes!!!

Just a few goals for the next few months. Lose the 10kgs I put on since the wedding is on the top of it, and finishing the cardigan that I started knitting!

Have you set any goals for yourself in the next few months? I'd love to hear about them!!!