As I sit here typing I am counting down the minutes until I have to get ready for my last university class for 2013.
1 laboratory class
1 week - 40 hour placement
left before I can say I've finished my first year of uni.
And tell you how fast it's gone!
Mind you I probably have spent more hours on holidays then at uni, but thats uni life.
I've always wanted to do something in medicine, and I think it's because it's always fascinated me!
The smarts, the confidence, the ability to help people.
Initially I wanted to be a doctor, this probably came from watching too many episodes of ER and Grey's Anatomy, but I thought I'd never cope and wasn't smart enough.
This usually arose from being in the higher classes which I shouldn't have been in. I was in class with kids who had been studying since primary school, I didn't even know what study was. They got 90% in every test, in every subject.
I got a few good results on a few tests so they thought, alright, we will chuck her in with the smarty pants.
Probably the worst thing ever.
I did not flourish, instead I just compared my 80% to their 90% and decided I wasn't capable and didn't want to try.
It's amazing the environment in which you are, can determine your attitude and mindset.
Next year's nursing subjects will be a bit more in line with what I always thought nursing was, working in a hospital, dealing with life and death situations.
Next year I will be going on placement in a hospital in Sydney, on a medical/surgery rotation and I will be given my own patient load...
If that doesn't sound scary I don't know what does!!!
I mean, taking a BGL on a person this year was hard enough and it was only drawing a little bit of blood, I'm not sure how I'll cope next year honestly.
It's such a huge task, but since the course is only 3 years it has to happen sooner or later.
S commented last night that they will teach me everything I need to know before I'm let out on placement.
And yes sure enough they will teach me and tell me everything I'll need to know before I go, but the difference is the setting.
I don't have a supportive teacher telling me what I'm doing wrong nor do I have a dummy to practice on who wont go ouch.
I will be dealing with real people, real problems, and real emergency's that I will need to react to without fault. Which frightens me.
I'm not quite sure if my natural response is flight or fight yet, usually my brain just shuts down when trauma happens and I can't think things through when high adrenaline situations happen.
Hopefully I will move past that with experience and learn how to keep a cool head in extreme situations!
Anyway. As I sad, I still have an essay to finish, which is due tonight and a lab class to get ready for, and a big scary arse science test on tuesday!!!
Hope all is well and I shall see you after exams!!!
P.S. This is a photo I took at the start of the year when I got my nursing uniform.