26 of the 6

This post is being written in the last 15 minutes of the 26 of June.

This day has particular significance as it is exactly 3 months till my 23rd birthday.

Now I'm not afraid of numbers or growing old.

Fear is not the word I would use to describe my emotions about turning another year older, or that I will be a full licensed driver in just under those 3 months, or that I'll be finished my 1st year of nursing in a few months, or that fact that I'm married and living 5 hours away from my first home.

The emotions I'm feeling about this day have more to do with astonishment, amazement, and bewilderment.

Words that barely describe how I'm feeling about turning another year older, and this is because all of my expectations of being a 23 year old, well, they just aren't true.

I didn't have the most fun as a teenager, my weekend consisted of reading books on a saturday night and watching movies, ignoring homework.

I barely had a social life, and this was a result of my shyness, insecurities and low self-esteem, bunched with all those other emotions you go through as a teenager, like self pity, oh good ol' self pity, kept me company during those early years to teenagehood.

What got me through those years was, besides having an amazing family, was the knowledge that I would be different when I'm older and I'd be more confident.

When I was 15, I used to believe and picture myself as a 23 year old, living life, independent, confident woman, in charge of her career, ready to take on the world. Little resemblance to the girl I was at 15, this was my hope.

As the years have gone by and I slowly be digging my nails into my 20s I've realised that I am still that shy, worried teenager I was, just in a different way. I still have anxiety over everything, I can't make a speech with feeling like I'll faint. I can't do something knew unless I've asked someone about every aspect of the situation as to not be uninformed and stand around and look like an idiot, I did this a lot in high school, fear of speaking up I'd just be quiet.

My defence mechanism was to avoid, or get out of any occasion that caused me grief and do it as quickly as possible. This anxiety made me physically ill, not that I let on, but it was very obvious on my wedding day when I wasn't behaving like myself.

Turning the olden age of 23, (I know I'm still so young!) I've come to realise that I'm still the same person, you don't magically become someone else when you turn a different number, you just have more years under your belt, more perspective.

I'm a bit over myself with regards to my anxiety over new situations, both social, uni, or work wise. But I'm pushing through it, doesn't help the anticipation though.

This post purely came out of the fact that I'm beginning to feel very anxious about clinical placement next monday for a week an hour away from wagga. Worried I'll do or say the wrong thing, won't understand something, the list goes on, honestly, I wrote one!

I'd like to know what you were doing when you were 23? Were you married with kids? Were you starting a successful career? Were you doing something else? I'd love to hear!!!

Hope your week has been great and I'll speak with you soon!

I have no undies

I have no undies...

I have no socks...

There are dishes in the sink...

And I'm on the couch knitting and looking up youtube videos of the royals families of europe... WHAT!

I know I know, I'm terribly childish, I just love history, in particular, royal history. 

I am NOT one of those people who have a whole wall in my house dedicated to royal memorabilia, but if that's your thing then don't let me hold you back.

File Source

Can't wait for their baby! What will it be?! I understand this may be misconstrued as obsessive *cough* ... But it's not like that, I promise. I'm just at the stage in my life that I really love babies, and want one BUT I know I'm not prepared for one, I'm still too selfish, after uni maybe!

Doesn't stop me for being excited for everyone else having a baby. Particularly big sis Kylez!!! So excited!

Now getting back to my undies. I did have a load sitting in the machine since Saturday, when I was being proactive about this washing fiasco.

How do we make so much washing! We need to stop wearing so many clothes and in particular undies and socks. Or I should just start buying new ones... What do you think?

So the load is rewashing, I'm listening to the tree blokes take out all the tree stumps from the back yard and counting down the minutes till I need to leave to get my car checked for a pink slip.

I feel so grown up, and even though as a teenager I felt like I wanted to be older so my age would reflect my personality, and that I was seen was a responsible person.

I take it back. Please take it back!! I don't want no responsibility no more!

Alright, whinge is over.

Off to clinical placement next week, where I wont be telling you anything I do because I'm under strict confidentiality agreements. No seriously, I can't.

But I can tell you all the things I got to practice, such as taking blood pressures and temperatures and BGL's.

Pray for me that I have a good time!!!

Hope you enjoy your tuesday and have a great rest of the week.

Linking up with Jess for IBOT

My, my, How Time Flies

Wow, I haven't posted in a few weeks.

I apologise!!! I have been super busy with uni and work!

Uni just finished and I think I went really well!!! I know that for one class I received a High Distinction overall in one class (thats before scaling so it may not be the grade on my transcript).

I feel confident about my classes but I wont know final marks for about 3 weeks or so. Once they have marked the exams and scaled and so on. Fingers crossed!!!

One of the requirements for CSU B nursing is that we have to do LOTS of placements. I mean a LOT. The requirements of a registered nurse to meet the board certification or something like that, is 800 hours of clinical placement, CSU does 1200 hours of clinical placement. 

Each semester basically we will be on placement for at least four weeks, then 8 weeks at a time, which is a long time to be away from home! Unfortunately be Measles, Mumps and Rubella immunity wasn't high enough that I was allowed to go on prac when I was meant to. I had to post pone it so that I could finish my dose of Chicken pox vaccine and also finish my MMR vaccine.

I am the most vaccinated adult around!

Anyway, 1st of July I go on Clinical Placement. I'm trying not to think to much about it otherwise I'll get to nervous and have breakdown and become catatonic...

Finishing uni was a relief, I bought myself the movie Pitch Perfect to watch as a treat after I'd finished exams, for studying so hard and so on. It was pretty good, a few laughs. Have you seen it? Did you like it?

Off to Sydney tomorrow to visit with family for a few days, squeezing in a visit in the middle of work and my break, and S is also away for this week so it's nice to not be home alone for all those days.

I've also made huge progress in my knitting squares.

What I've been doing is knitting these squares, crocheting black edging on them, then crocheting them together into a huge blanket. I had a problem with the edges puckering with the crocheting but I finally figured out how to stop it, whooo me!

Alright I'm sure I've bored everyone enough, I know I can't believe how boring I am sometimes!!!

Just a few goals for the next few months. Lose the 10kgs I put on since the wedding is on the top of it, and finishing the cardigan that I started knitting!

Have you set any goals for yourself in the next few months? I'd love to hear about them!!!